Formal Research Paper

Description

I need revision on my formal research paper, all feedback is listed down below and the paper will be linker!  Feedback: Great overall ideas and nice choice of topic! So interesting to read! Your writing successfully presents the topic in a strong way and is engaging. Your research paper includes excellent and specific concrete details and a good start to your research. Expanding your research would increase the depth of your report. Your introduction contains information that should be moved to a body paragraph. Your introduction should be 4-5 sentences with an overview of your topic – the details can be covered in the body paragraphs. Be sure that your thesis statement is clearly stated at the end of your introduction. (Review the lecture in Week 2 on thesis statements.) Overall, clear organization with a compelling and logical flow of information. Evidence of proper planning and outlining before writing is clear in some areas. Revision should include additional paragraph breaks between subtopics so that a single, clear topic exists in each paragraph. Once additional paragraph breaks are added, your next step will be to make sure that each paragraph has a focused topic sentence and smooth transitions. Be sure to eliminate first person and second person, contractions and crutch words (review the list in the “Academic Tone” lecture in the Week 3 module) which will improve the overall tone of the report. Format of the paper does not follow MLA guidelines for formatting – it appears to be centered. Additionally, in-text citations appear to be missing in several places. Remember that sources need to be cited even if the information is paraphrased. Evidence is integrated and supports the research paper very well. I look forward to reading the revision in your Final Project!

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